Tuesday, July 30, 2013, around 3 a.m. in various small towns in Swabia
The first guests are waiting for their bus to the North Cape. “My goodness, you’ve got a lot of luggage! And you’re not on the list.” – “Are you going to the North Cape?” – “No, we’re going to Burgenland.” … Who could have guessed that there would be more than one bus at the station at this time of day… Next stop: the bus is waiting for guests. Sven: “My goodness, you can’t be on time with the plane either, what a mess, it’s all off our time!” – Well, that could be fun… You arrive in Hamburg at around 3 pm on the first of six coaches. You check into the Hotel Panorama, the higher-class option in Hamburg, Sven and Erik prepare the bus for the tour and then, at the information meeting at 4:30 pm, we meet for the first time. The itinerary becomes really clear for the first time, illustrated with pictures. After the event, you get to explore Hamburg – I’ve heard the word “Reeperbahn” a lot. Meanwhile, I get to know our chauffeurs for the first time. I get to the bus, where two other drivers are sitting drinking a beer. “Hello, which one of you is Sven?” – “The asshole!” – “?” – “The asshole in front of you.” Sven turns to me and says “Yes?”. “Hi, I’m Sarah, I’m riding on your bus.” – “I see, you’re quite late. Do you have my itinerary with you?” – “Sure. Sorry, I was still working.” – “The others were always early!” Well, that could be fun… “Are you having a drink?” – “Hmmm… What do you want?” – “What do you want?” – “Well, I don’t drink wine, champagne, whisky, beer or rum” – “Ok, ok, do you drink vodka?” – “Yes.” “Then you’re drinking a ‘Sven Special’ now.” – “What’s in it?” – “Secret!” Well, that could be fun…
Wednesday, July 31, 2013, 6:30 a.m., Hotel Panorama Billstedt
Luggage loading premiere: passed with flying colors! From 6:45 a.m.: The first breakfast together is very quiet thanks to the fact that we are the only group staying in the hotel. I pass by shortly before departure, everyone is fine, our drivers are already awake. Departure at 7:15 a.m., heading north. They get to know me properly for the first time. I check your IDs and try to learn your names. They laugh at me, but I know almost all of them by the time we reach Puttgarden. Then ferry premiere in Puttgarden: no complaints. We leave the ferry and pass two other buses (the black Ertl and Ortner), which obviously haven’t had all their passengers back on board yet. During the journey through southern Denmark, I explain today’s schedule and Sven makes various announcements and jokes. He still doesn’t know my name. “Sven, I’ve put my name tag on just for you!” We arrive in Copenhagen, where our city guide Jörg explains “his” city to us in perfect German and with extensive knowledge. We take our first break in the Rose Garden: toilet queuing premiere. The tour runs smoothly, nobody gets lost and Erik does a great job at the wheel. We then board the second ferry in Helsingør. Everything is actually the same as the first time, but there’s a traffic jam on the stairs when we get off: panic premiere. Nevertheless, everyone is on time and we continue our journey north via Helsingborg. We arrive at our hotel in Jönköping in the evening and have dinner there.
Thursday, August 1, 2013, 7:00 a.m., Scandic Elmia Jönköping
Dutiful and disciplined, you all arrive on time for breakfast with your hand luggage ready for the evening ferry. Departure at 8:00 am, heading north. We pass Lake Vättern and various “-köpings” on the way to Stockholm. Pee break at the town hall: the whole herd runs purposefully up the stairs – past the toilets, according to Sven’s description. As I stroll behind them, I wonder how they could all have gone to the toilet so quickly, but I quickly realize from the contrite faces that this wasn’t the case at all. “Oh, by the way, this is the staircase Sven was talking about!” And everything turns out fine… We meet our city guide at the castle after a few communication difficulties have been resolved. We explore the city with her and end up at the Mistral restaurant of the Scandic Ariadne hotel at the harbor for dinner at 5 pm. While she eats, Sven and I drive to the terminal to check in. We pick you up again and then wait at the ferry terminal to board the Silja Galaxy. At 7:10, the time has come. We all spend the evening – more or less – separately, watching the beautiful Swedish archipelago pass us by. Before you fall asleep, you all set your watches and alarm clocks one hour ahead to Finnish time.
Friday, August 2, 2013, 6:00 a.m., Silja Galaxy, Turku
Breakfast is served in the restaurant and, contrary to our chauffeur’s naysaying, we all get breakfast and don’t have to fight over it too much. Outside, we can watch the Turku archipelago. Everyone is at the information desk on time for disembarkation, and our bus is the first to come down. Sven is waiting for us at the exit as a signpost and we are the first to leave. We cross southern Finland and reach Helsinki. After an hour of free time at the local market and a relaxed visit to the toilet at the Olympic terminal, Mariia delights us with her guided tour of the city. We overrun by 40 minutes, but that’s no problem. One more visit to the toilet in the rock church and then it’s off to lunch at the ski jumps in Lahti. Lake premiere: “As you can see, you can see lakes.” At first there is another cheer at each lake, which then slowly fades away due to the frequency… On the way to the hotel, pick a “Scandinavian” or other name for the Arctic Circle baptism and write it on my list. Our hotel, where we have dinner, is located in the middle of the Finnish Lake District.
Saturday, August 3, 2013, 7:00 a.m., Sokos Hotel Tahkovuori
Breakfast with two other Trend tour buses is fine and we leave at 8:00 a.m., heading north. Via Oulu and Kemi, we get closer and closer to Santa Claus on the Gulf of Bothnia. Once there, shortly after Rovaniemi, we get out, stand dutifully at the line that currently signals the Arctic Circle and on my command you cross the line with perfect coordination and at the same time throw my self-made snowball into the air – or at me… After the disciplined collection and a few individual photos, we make our way through the wonderland to Santa Claus. My colleague’s warning “Don’t go in there, we had to wait half an hour!” – I spontaneously ignore it after taking a look at the Wunderwelt. When we are all together and find the right way to Santa Claus on our second attempt, instead of going straight to the exit again – without a photo – we take a nice souvenir photo with the friendly Santa Claus, for which we pay “only” 6 euros instead of 13 euros with the group discount. Then everyone goes their separate ways, buying Christmas decorations, souvenirs or coffee, while I get you the second stamp on your Nordland driver’s certificate. An hour later we meet again at the bus, where Sven and Erik welcome us with sparkling wine. After toasting in the bus, as it’s forbidden outside, they say “You still need the glasses”. The journey continues north. Reindeer premiere: the animals simply stand at the side of the road, in the middle of the street and even in front of our hotel. For dinner we have … Moose… and – oh wonder – a lake…
Sunday, August 4, 2013, 6:45 a.m., Hotel Luostotunturi
Our breakfast time begins. If only all the groups were so disciplined about sticking to their times… 7:30 Departure, heading north. The North Cape is on the agenda today. But first we stop at the bear cave near Lake Inari. The most athletic of you walk up the 284 and 196 steps to the viewing platform. And some even squeeze themselves into the bear cave. The others drink coffee and stroll around the souvenir store. As we are about to leave, Mr. Brandner gives me a notebook and a pen with the words “Here Sarah, someone must have forgotten this upstairs, it would be a shame to lose all the notes!” When I look in the notebook, I see dates and names. It’s the guest book of the bear cave… Well, I briefly consider going back up, but then decide to hand it in at the souvenir store. Thank you for your consideration… On the road to Norway, we are alerted by a newsreader as follows: “Attention, attention, we interrupt the program for a special announcement. We are looking for a white Ertl bus with the registration number BC-D 599, which is said to be approaching the Norwegian border near Karasjok from Finland. There are allegedly 48 friendly, good-humored, punctual and disciplined German passengers on board. The current driver is wearing a dark blue shirt and blue jeans. His age is estimated to be in his early 30s and he is described as above-average competent and extremely attractive. If you are on this bus, please set your watch back one hour now, as you are leaving the Finnish time zone and entering the Norwegian time zone.” No sooner said than done, there are no problems. On the following journey, we meet one reindeer after another and Sven always finds great photo stops – for example the one in front of the Nordkap Tunnel. Today you can also build your wishes into stone pyramids and hope that they will come true. The journey on the North Cape island of Magerøya is difficult. Fog rolls in. At the North Cape, you can almost not see your hand in front of your eyes. But what’s the point? The film in international visual language is inspiring and the globe can be seen from five meters away – well, nothing else, but that would steal the show from the globe, wouldn’t it? That’s just North Cape weather… When we find our way back to the bus – and everyone does – Erik and Sven are waiting for us again with champagne. That seems to stimulate our thirst. During the next 20 minutes to the hotel, which for the first time are in a southerly direction, I don’t get to read out my story about the North Cape as they order drink after drink. When we arrive at our hotel, the open fire is already lit for you. We are the first to enjoy the sumptuous buffet. When we look at the clock and think “It’s still early, it’s still so bright…”, it’s already past midnight.
Monday, August 5, 2013, 6:45 a.m., Rica North Cape, Honningsvåg
After a great breakfast, which was in no way inferior to the previous dinner, we set off at 7:30 a.m., heading south. We arrive in Hammerfest, once the northernmost town in Europe, at around 10:15 am. While our chauffeurs are already on their way to Øksfjord, we stroll through the town, visit the exhibition at the Polar Bear Club and enjoy the day. At 11:15 a.m. the ship arrives: the Nordlys. A middle-generation Hurtigruten ship, built in 1994. The passengers disembark and I collect the boarding cards for our group. Everyone is there, just like you, and I have all the guests on board by 12:30 on the dot. We cast off at 12:45 and begin our three-hour passage to Øksfjord. We admire glaciers, mountains and fjords in relatively good visibility. We drink 
another coffee or tea and the harbor is in sight. The whole group is waiting to disembark, but we don’t dock. Are we in the right place? – Yes, we are. We arrive 15 minutes late and Sven leads us to the bus. Rain clouds gather on the way, Sven stops for a photo at the bottom of the bay, then it starts to rain. The viewpoint high up is occupied by the Ortner bus, but when we arrive, it is only drizzling, so photos and toilets are possible. We stop for dinner at the Reisafjord restaurant in Sørkjosen. Afterwards we drive another 220 km up and down the mountain with Sven at the wheel. The sky offers a magnificent spectacle of colors; the setting sun bathes the clouds first in a yellow and then in a “Falun” red. The bus is as quiet as a mouse, but hardly anyone is asleep. “Don’t worry, it looks much faster from above than from the driver’s seat! You’d better admire the landscape!” Thanks to Sven’s speedy driving style, we arrive at the hotel in Bardufoss at 10:45 p.m., so that the bus can stand for the legally prescribed nine hours before our next departure. Bed is calling.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013, 7:00 a.m., Bardufoss Hotel As
Advanced suitcase loading: first the suitcases for the Hotel Sommer on the Lofoten and at 7 a.m. and seven and a half minutes the suitcases for the Aurora. The task is completed with top marks before we have breakfast at 7:15 a.m. and set off at a leisurely pace at 8 a.m.: heading south/southwest. We make a photo stop in front of the 1,001m-long Tjeldsund Bridge, which is already on Vesterålen. Then we come to the “Lofast” (Lofotens Fastlandsforbindelse), a tunnel and bridge construction that has connected the islands of Lofoten with the mainland since 2007, making the ferry crossing superfluous. This connection is 51 km long and consists of four tunnels and twelve bridges. Our Lofoten round trip begins with the last section. We stop at the Sildpollnes viewpoint with a view of the church of the same name, have some free time in Henningsvær, take a look at the Lofoten Cathedral and the Troll Stone and then head to Svolvær, where one group checks into the Hotel Aurora while the other group eats. Afterwards, the second group is allowed to eat and the first group comes with me to the Sommer Hotel, where they don’t want us. But it would be boring if everything went smoothly… So, Sven and Erik, suitcases back on the bus and over to Hotel Visit Vestfjord. It’s much nicer here anyway, with a view of the Hurtigruten quay. Everyone has free time from 15:30. What a luxury!!! I don’t know what they do and don’t do on this day, some of them watch the Nordlys sail in at 18:30.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013, 6:30 a.m., Hotel Visit Vestfjord and Hotel Aurora, Svolvær
Battle at both breakfast buffets against the Bavarian superiority. But the Swabians come out on top. Departure at 7:20 a.m. from Visit Vestfjord, then actually to Hotel Aurora – Uh, Sven? -“Oh yes, Aurora, I wanted to go to the summer.” Once the second part of the group is on the bus, we head east. We get the ferry in Lødingen at 9:15 am, together with three other Trendtours buses. On today’s long stage, we stop at a waterfall (Troll toilet) and pass the Arctic Circle, this time heading south. We take a break there. Premiere in “watching other people pee in the forest”. When Sven and I come back from stamping, they are all already on the bus and the parking lot echoes: “Where are you? We’re already full!” The other buses look at us puzzled… Over the next two hours we watch “One man, one fjord” and suddenly we are at the hotel – first. We are the only ones who don’t take a break after the Arctic Circle. As you have already drunk the bus’s water supply, Sven asks you to buy water at the nearby supermarket before dinner at 7:30 pm. As you all know that all six coaches are in this hotel, you wait patiently for my OK. What discipline! At 7:30 pm sharp, the time has come. However, the next group is already trickling into the dining room… What you will do in the evening is written in the stars…
Thursday, August 8, 2013, 7:00 a.m., Hotel Laponia, Arvidsjaur
Breakfast, also very disciplined, suitcases are packed and we set off at 8:00 a.m. heading south. Today is a long day! Basically we just sit in the bus. On the first 450 km to our lunch at Marité Östersund, we sleep, talk and discuss the next few days. At lunch we not only have delicious chicken, but also a great view of the harbor and Lake Storsjön, but the monster is nowhere to be seen. Sven shortens our onward journey with the movie “Jenseits aller Grenzen” – heavy fare, but incredibly interesting. Ten minutes before the end, we make a toilet stop near Lake Siljan and then we arrive in Falun, where we are staying for the night. At last I can explain how the typical red color of Swedish houses came about – the Falun red – and I also tell you about the history of the Dala horse. We all devote the evening to our preferences.
Friday, August 9, 2013, 7:30 a.m., First Grand Hotel, Falun
After a delicious breakfast, we all manage the 180 km to the castle in Örebro without a break, a short photo stop with old rocks and modern art, then on to the open-air museum “Wadköping”, a complex of houses from the 17th – 19th centuries. 45 minutes of free time is almost too little. I had planned to visit the Göta Canal lock on the second day, but road renovations prevented this. Sven and I decide to make an alternative stop at the moated castle in Vadstena. We are not the only bus there, but we have the nicest dining table! Free time, lunch, toilet, sun, what more could you want? We continue to Laganland, the elk enclosure. The free time, increased from 30 to 40 minutes, is enough for everyone to go to the toilet, stroke an elk, take photos and then buy its meat… The last stage of the day takes us very close to Denmark again. A farewell mood sets in. After a brief review of the last twelve days and words of thanks and praise, we arrive for our last dinner together in a somewhat more elegant restaurant at the hotel in Landskrona. The choice and quality of the food is good, so nothing stands in the way of a perfect conclusion. A group of alternating participants sit in the hotel bar until late at night and chat. Some of the hotel room doors don’t close until late, probably because they were still at the beach party.
Saturday, August 10, 2013, 6:30 a.m., Hotel Öresund, Landskrona
Suitcase loading for experts: loading list backwards, passed with distinction. We are the only coach in the hotel, breakfast treats us one last time and at 7:30 we set off on the last leg of the journey south. Past Malmö with the Turning Torso to the last highlight: the Öresund Bridge. The longest steel cable bridge over water in the world. The journey takes about 15 minutes and offers a fantastic view. And then all that’s left is the journey through southern Denmark, where great speeches are made and a few anecdotes from previous and current trips are shared. The mood is good, albeit a little wistful, as the days have passed so quickly. The last ferry in Rødby, unfortunately we don’t make it at 10:15, but there’s still time to go to the toilet and catch the ferry at 10:45. I say goodbye, show off my favorite snack and then get my clothes out of the bus just before boarding. “I’m going out via the parking deck”… Three guests are missing – how can that be? That’s never happened before!!! You can already hear the sounds of the docking outside. I look at the stairs – nothing. Maybe the stairs in the middle? And there they come towards me, the lost children… If you don’t do everything yourself… ;-) Get in quickly. I leave the deck, they drive past me, I’m stopped, you’re not allowed to walk along here… “Oh well…” Well, then, bag and baggage on deck 6 and down over the passenger bridge. I think about you for the rest of the day and hope that you get home safely to beautiful Swabia, but you’re in good hands with Erik and Sven. When you arrive home, unpack your suitcases and look at your photos, you remember anecdotes and people you didn’t even know two weeks earlier. And you know, early the next morning you go to my homepage to check whether you really could have experienced all this. – And you know what? – The answer is “YES”!!!
